Yeah… it’s the Grand Old Party all right…
Since Gustav hasn’t been Katrina the sequel, (regardless of where you stand, I think we can all be thankful for that) the Republican National Convention started tonight.
I have to say… I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many old Caucasian people in my life. I mean, I wasn’t expecting to see any brown people there, other than the few they probably hired off of the streets of Minnesota at the last minute but man, surely there has to be more young conservatives out there than what I saw in that crowd.
Seriously, young Caucasian conservatives… where you at? They need you at the RNC badly. Let’s see here:
The Law & Order guy (who did his thing by the way, which makes me happy because he’s my favorite DA of the L & O franchise)? Old White Guy. The Guy who was on the Democratic ticket eight years ago? Old White Guy. George? So radioactive at this point, they had him speaking from the screen. Oh, and he’s an Old White Guy.
I couldn’t figure out if I was watching a political convention or an AARP convention. And before people get on me, I want to make it clear that I really like old people. Hell, I think old people are cooler than people my age. Even though I’ll have tubes shoved up my ass to check for prostate cancer and my lungs and liver will begin to fail me because of all the drinking and smoking I’ve done in my youth, I’m looking forward to old age if the good Lord allows me to get there. I look forward to being as crass as I want to be with people paying me no mind because I’m old. Not to mention creepily flirting with girls I don’t have a chance in hell of sleeping with anymore.
But still… it must have been unsettling to independents and moderates to see what looked more like a country club meeting than a convention. Maybe they can get some more dark people off the streets or something by the time the war hero steps up to the mic.
On a positive note though, I’ve got to say that the Republicans have the hot MILF competition on lock. Sure, Dennis Kucinich and the Dark Knight hold it down but between Mrs. Thompson, Mrs. McCain and Mrs. Palin, the RNC is packing more MILF heat than Wisteria Lane. Oh… and have you seen John McCain’s daughter Meghan? I would jump my half black ass out of her window (when daddy got home) in a heartbeat if I had the chance.
