Some eighteen year old kid in Alaska got a very important lesson in the importance of the condom. Yes I know… I fucking hate them too. But, if I have to choose between that and being forced to marry my seventeen year old girlfriend/fuck buddy/hook up/whatever who has my five month old baby in her stomach… I think you see where I’m going with this.
You have to feel sorry for this kid. He was just trying to bag some tail like all of us want to do at that age and now he’ll be eighty percent of the way to a midlife crisis by the time the ink on his high school diploma dries. I guess he didn’t pay attention in the creationism and abstinence only classes he probably had in school or else he would know wrapping it up is a pretty sound idea.
On the upside, he’ll be marrying into a wonderful family. He will have four stepbrothers and sisters to play with, a mother in law he can shoot rifles and enjoy hockey games with and a father in law who can take him on drilling expeditions in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve. He’ll be able to throw in his two cents at the dinner table when his in laws talk about how global warming is bullshit and how all women should be like his lovely wife by keeping their babies even if they’ve been victims of incest or rape.
The self-centered part of me is kind of pissed at this kid for shattering my dreams. You see, and this is probably going upset you liberals out there, I’ve always been a bit curious as to what tight, ‘family first,’ ultra conservative and religious pussy is like. I know you’re probably looking at the screen like I’m crazy right now but seriously hear me out. If we’ve learned anything from the Victorian England, pent up and repressed sexuality is good for business if you’re a social outcast like me… just ask Lord Byron.
But now that I remember all the shit Byron had to deal with and the situation this kid will be in while his friends are bagging sorority girls at the University of Alaska, I guess I’ll stick with secular, environmentally conscious, ‘bleeding heart’ liberal pussy I’m getting now.
???
Alrighty then!
Interesting points, though. I’ll give you that!
I’ll assume you’ve heard most of the information blathered on about Sarah Palin in recent days and that you’re confusion (I guess?) comes from my uhh… interesting ‘perspective’ on that matter. : )
I have heard all the blah blah blah.
No confusion … just surprise.
You indeed have an “interesting ‘perspective’” on the matter!
How sweet, honey
Just for that, I’ll stick with your angry Manson-loving, “artistic” dick instead of trying out the repressed homosexuality that I risk when jumping on a Bible thumper…
I really appreciate that… it’ll probably work out better for us this way.